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Funny!
I’m sure it’s a glitch that will soon be worked out. Even Google makes the occasional mistake.
News flash:
“If we cannot become profitable, our financial condition will deteriorate, and we may be unable to achieve our business objectives,” the company wrote in its filing.
This is marvelous – I love it.
iLingual from Lean Mean Fighting Machine is a new translation app for iPhone. Pick your phrase, hold it up to your mouth, and let ‘er rip. Check out this brief – and hilarious – video:
First saw it at the Edible Apple.
OK, here’s a clue …
If you email someone about a plan to do something illegal, and you work for a legal company, don’t email from your work email:
Context: I need some help around the house for some general landscaping and handyman chores, so I posted a Craigslist ad. This response is suggesting I hire someone for cash who is not legally permitted to work in Canada.
First of all:
Not a good plan.
Secondly:
Not smart to email from your personal, traceable account.
Thirdly:
Double plus unsmart to email from your work account.
Fourthly:
Really, really, really not smart when you work for a lawyer.
Next time, could it be you?
We did a very fun thing on the last day of the eLiberatica conference: Werewolf. Danese Cooper led this game in which audience members do quick 3-minute impromptu speeches on a topic of their choosing. Natuarally, Jeroen van Meeuwen pushed me forward and signed me up against my will, and I found myself in front of a room full of people.
I spoke about optimizing personal SEO through proper use of social networking tools such as Twitter and LinkedIn. But at about the 2:30 mark, I ran out of material. So someone suggested a joke.
I immediately started telling the below joke, but since I had no punchline (at the time) I dragged it until the 3 minutes were finished and I was in the clear.
Here’s the joke, now that I slept on it and dreamed up an ending. It draws strongly on the fact that Romanians know how to party like few other people on earth …
3 guys walked into a bar, a Canadian, an American, and a Romanian.
The Canadian was a cheap bugger, and as they walked in he said, “I wonder how much the drinks are here. Maybe they’re cheaper at the next bar.” The American was a sharp entrepreneur, and as he stepped inside he looked around and said, “I wonder how much it would cost to buy this bar. I’d pick it up, do a licensing deal with Beck’s, expand the second floor, and double my money in a year.”
While they had been chatting just inside the door, the Romanian had walked up to the bar, found a seat, tossed back his first beer, and was starting on his second when finally he yelled in their direction: “I wonder how much time you guys are going to waste until we start the &*%$# party!”
Naturally, I do not condone the use of profanity and vulgarity, so you’ll have to fit a word into that last line yourself …
I think it would have brought the house down, especially since with hecklers and other fun, we had been laughing most of the 3 minutes already.
(Saw it first on BoingBoing.)
I had to memorialize this interchange with my friend Cam Cardow on Facebook:
The occasion? I had posted on JumpGate Evolution, after seeing this video:
OK, this is seriously funny. The latest Dilbert strips have been focused on Dilbert’s second job: DilbertFiles.
Funny, good, enjoyable … but just a comic. Or not?
Wondering a little – because I’ve read Scott Adams‘ books and know how smart he is in spite of his constant and nearly-successful attempts to hide it – I decided to check out dilbertfiles.com.
Lo and behold … there’s an actual website there:
And an actual business, to all intents and purposes. Now, because Scott Adams is congenitally disinclined to anything approaching actual work, he must have simply struck a deal with a file transfer company to re-brand their solution for him. As if the guy doesn’t have enough money already.
Life imitating art, huh? Actually, in more ways than you might notice.
As completely appropriate for our favorite corporate drone, DilbertFiles’ uploader software only supports Windows!
It’s the cherry on the cake, obviously.
I wonder what the best bio on Twitter is. I think it might just possibly be Ken Newman’s:
Film and Stage Actor, Trade Show Presenter, Corporate Entertainer, Writer, Magician, Photographer, and anything else that people will pay me to do – w/in reason
Love it! “Anything else that people will pay me to do, w/i reason.” Great.
FYI …
Sometimes it’s fun to read through your email spam. Some poor clueless spammer sent me this gem today:
This is your official notification from eBay. Your online has expired.
If you want to continue using our service you have to renew your online.
If not, your online will be limited and deleted.
I am shaking in my boots … from laughter.
My adjectives are in danger. My nouns, however, are all just fine.
Hopefully, the same is true of you.
You gotta love The Onion:
It’s a little dated, but I ran across this today and couldn’t help but laugh:
Microsoft is clearly out to wed the Zune with Windows Mobile in a effort to get the two failures to prop each other up in its “I’m not dead yet!” fight against the iPhone.
Of course, it’s really only funny if you know the Monty Python skit the author is referring to …
You have to love this comment by an analyst on the new that Steve Jobs won’t be keynoting MacWorld this year:
“It’s like the first time in a long time he hasn’t spoken in Macworld,” said Samuel Wilson, an analyst at JMP Securities. “Why is he not speaking this year would be the question.”
Yes, the first time he isn’t speaking at Macworld in a long time is rather like the first time he isn’t speaking at Macworld in a long time. Startlingly so, in fact.
(I can’t point fingers too much – this language has infiltrated most of us to the extent that once in a while, we all use it.)
Like we were, you know, valley girls.
Welcome to Sparkplug 9, John Koetsier's blog on technology and social media.
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